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Everybody wants what feels good.

Working to earn money that pays our bills and afford our lifestyles is what many of us desire. Wanting to work for an NGO could mean there is a. Most of us have no clue what we want to do with our lives. After all, for all I know, this person is really into knitting sweaters for kittens or. The person you really are is determined by the actions you take daily to reach the point you want to achieve. Are you really the person you think.

Everyone wants to live a carefree, happy and easy life, to fall in love and have amazing sex and relationships, to look perfect and make money and be popular and well-respected and admired and a total baller to the point that people part like the Red Sea when waant walk into the room.

What are you willing to struggle for?

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Because that seems to be a greater determinant of how our lives turn out. People want to be rich without the riskwithout the sacrifice, without the delayed gratification necessary to accumulate wealth.

Everybody wants to have great sex and an awesome relationship —but not everyone is willing to go through the tough conversations, the awkward silences, the hurt feelings and the emotional psychodrama to get there.

And so they settle. Because happiness requires struggle. The positive is the side effect of handling the negative.

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You can only avoid negative experiences for so long before they come roaring back to life. At the core of all human behavior, our needs are more or less similar.

Positive experience is easy to handle. People want an amazing physique.

People want to start their own business or become financially independent. People want a partner, a spouse. And to get good at dealing with negative experiences is to get good at dealing with life. Everybody wants something. And everybody wants something enough. Because if you want the benefits of something in life, you have to also want the costs. If you want the beach body, you have to want the sweat, the soreness, the early mornings, and the hunger pangs.

If you want the yacht, you have to also want the late nights, the risky business moves, and the possibility of pissing off a person or ten thousand. If you find yourself wanting something month after month, year after year, yet nothing happens and you never come any closer to it, then maybe what you actually want is a fantasyan idealization, an image and a false promise. But I ask because that tells me far more about you than your desires and fantasies. Because you have to choose something.

Pleasure is an easy question. And pretty much all of us have similar answers. The more interesting question is the pain. What is the pain that you want to sustain? That answer will actually get you somewhere. For most of my adolescence and young adulthood, I fantasized about being a musician — a rock Who i am and what i really want, in particular. Any badass guitar song I heard, I would always close my eyes and envision myself up on stage playing it to the screams of the crowd, people absolutely losing Who i am and what i really want minds to my sweet finger-noodling.

This fantasy could keep me occupied for hours on end. The fantasizing continued up through college, even after I dropped out of music school and stopped playing seriously. Beautiful lady searching flirt Sioux City

I was biding my time before I could invest the proper amount of time and effort into getting out there and making it work. First, I needed to finish school.

Then, I needed to make money. Then, I needed to find the time. Then … and then nothing.

Despite fantasizing about this for over half of my life, the reality never came. And it took me a long time and a lot of negative experiences to finally figure out why: And because of that, I failed at it. I hardly tried at all. The daily drudgery of practicing, the logistics of finding a group and rehearsing, the pain of finding gigs and actually getting rezlly to show up and give a shit. The Who i am and what i really want strings, the blown tube amp, hauling 40 pounds of gear to and from rehearsals with no car.

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I just liked to imagine the top. But the truth is far less interesting than that: End of story. I wanted the reward and not the struggle.

I wanted the result and not the process. I was in love not with the fight but only the victory.

Working to earn money that pays our bills and afford our lifestyles is what many of us desire. Wanting to work for an NGO could mean there is a. You want to feel alive, satisfied, and empowered. 'why' or your reason for doing what you do is actually a very important part of the process. I told them that was the biggest growth period in my life. It was the year that I decided to bet on myself and get to the core of who I really am. What areas of your life need self-improvement and a shot of motivation?.

Who you are is defined by the values you are willing to struggle for. People who enjoy the struggles of a gym are the ones who get in good shape.

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People who enjoy long workweeks and the politics of the corporate ladder are the ones who move up it. People who enjoy the stresses and uncertainty of the starving artist lifestyle are ultimately the ones who live it and make it.

This is the most shat and basic component of life: So choose your struggles wisely, my friend. This post originally appeared on MarkManson. Skip to navigation Skip to content.