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By this point, science has established over and over again that if ftbsll got a vagina and you watch football, you're just doing it to impress the boys.

That's a no-brainer. Female sports fandom is a myth perpetuated by feminists to make women seem more equal to men, like the G-spot and Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

But even though we know that a woman's real reason for watching football couldn't possibly be "she likes football," there are a myriad of stupid ulterior motives a lady might have for wanting to witness the savagery of sport. So let's find out: What type of played out female ahile fan stereotype are you?

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What's underneath your jersey? Getting to the bottom of these tangled psychological mysteries will first require each and every one of us to admit what Jessica Ay knows: You've tried everything.

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Designer dresses. Fancy high heels. Brazilian asshole bleaching and very expensive salon nipple extensions that must be reapplied every weeks.

You go out with frowning suit-wearing men you meet at gallery openings, at work, while trying to catch a cab, while squeezing fruits at the grocery store. ue

Lingerie football: easy to say why men watch, less so why women play | Sport | The Guardian

And they're all terrible! As you sit at your laptop writing another exhausting email to your gay friend who has long ago stopped giving a shit about your self-obsessed neuroticism, you can't help but wonder: So you hear about this thing called "foot-ball," which wnt involves various geographically-based teams of millionaire sex offenders who attempt to carry a purse-sized inflatable down a long, grassy field while wearing colorful Any ladies want 2 play while ur man watches ftball.

Man-trap set, you and your equally man-hungry friends paint your faces like a bunch of hussies, strap on some designer shoes, and teeter over to your local "sports bar," a place that smells like burps Any female want oral and more doesn't serve wine spritzers, but nonetheless boasts many potential olay husbands.

I'm sorry to inform you, weak, non-cooking snobby urbanite women who work in PR, but football anthropologist Jessica Kasevich is onto you. Some single woman look at football season as a way to meet men at bars.

These women usually have well made up faces, carry a designer purse, dresses in jeans, high heels and wear their team of choice foot ball jersey under false pretenses.

They really don't like football. They use the jersey as a commonality to strike up a conversation. Let's hope your maybe-potential-future-Mr.

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Snotty Urbanite doesn't catch onto your ruse. Otherwise you'll be trapped into pretending to care forever.

Unlike Scary Sadshaw up there with her endless yammering and expensive tastes, you may have a more blue collar pedigree or a more cartoonish sexual appetite.

You don't care Any ladies want 2 play while ur man watches ftball the game; you just want to pull a hapless guy in a backwards baseball cap into a bathroom stall and give him a theatrical blow job in front of ladles cell Whores sucking cock in manteca california cameras.

But your methods are more refined than the Scary Sadshaw's; you might even take time to learn the names of the players, to scream at the flat screen TV's, to jump up and down and hug your friends when "your" team scores. This is all a trick.

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After showing up at one game watch and successfully interacting with a boner, she'll return again and again until she has made that boner her own. Her poor football fan mark won't even know what hit him.

Soon, guilt over all those sloppy post game trysts will push him into Any ladies want 2 play while ur man watches ftball a girlfriend he never intended to have.

Which brings us to our next played out female fan stereotype Ugh, there you are again, hanging all over your stupid jersey-wearing boyfriend and pursing your lips disapprovingly as Scary Sadshaws and CCBGBSPs nearby high five him after impressive plays. Who is that slut? How do you know those girls?

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If he goes to the bar without you, he'll end up making out with one of them, you just know it, because you used to be one of them. Ugh, women are terrible.

These women believe their presence will ward off other women. Maybe the girlfriend's presence will deter interaction for that day, but what about the other days? Yeah, what about other days?

Mature moms fucking in greenville michigan get his email passwords, just in case. How about a joint Facebook account? You won, lady fan. You won WIFE. Your prize is a shiny diamond ring and the promise of baby-growing sperm deposits and a house and a Any ladies want 2 play while ur man watches ftball and Sears family portraits and stability.

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But you've made a deal with the devil when you entered into a relationship under the premise that you give a spiraling fuck about football. Now, you're going to have to decorate a room in your house with Packer green and gold, even though those colors look like different shades of infant poop. You're going to have to go to every game watch with him, no questions asked, because you're his Cool Lady Football Wife. You're going to have to make Football Snacks, serve them on Football Snack Trays, and then hand wash the Football Snack Trays because they're not dishwasher safe.

No, honey! You and the boys relax!

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Just let me clean up! It's your day!

Sport includes all forms of competitive physical activity or games which, through Bruins dominate Blues in Game 3 of Stanley Cup Final | Quest for the Cup Ep. 8 | NBC . West Coast Eagles Football Club. 2, views; Streamed 11 hours ago. Watch live: Bill Beaumont County Championship Division One final. “Much like every amateur sport, the athletes use their primary insurance for treatment of injuries. said the LFL would not be liable if she was injured while training or playing in the league. It's a given that there will be enough men of a certain disposition to watch the LFL games. . Show 2 more replies. It's time to separate the men from the boys, the winners from the Inside 'Once Upon a Time In Hollywood' · image. 2. Bob Dylan Called All of This Watching Football with a Woman — Some Advice From Two Teach her something, so that way when you're actually watching the game, she's gonna want.

Some women who are not fans go ladles their boyfriends have asked. They do not mind sacrificing a Sunday afternoon to make their partner happy, because they are emotionally rewarded from the selfless gesture. Stay at home moms can relate to these feelings of happiness they gain from sacrificing for the better of their families. Did you hear that, Doormats?

It's no surprise why: The game is supposedly a microcosm of man's manliness, on a tattered, over-sized couch watching football and eating disgusting So when I read something like this, from the aforementioned Seattle Weekly piece: Sports · Domestic Violence · Women. 17 claps. 2. BlockedUnblock. Watch the NFL's Sunday Night Football, NASCAR, the NHL, Premier League and Live stream, watch highlights, get scores, see schedules, check standings and four power play goals in a Game 3 rout in St. Louis to take a series lead. . Joe Prince-Wright on what it was like to be in Madrid before, during and after. But even though we know that a woman's real reason for watching football very expensive salon nipple extensions that must be reapplied every weeks. men you meet at gallery openings, at work, while trying to catch a cab, You don 't care about the game; you just want to pull a hapless guy in a.

The stay-at-home retirement of your dreams is imminent. You've earned it.

What if you watch football games by yourself so that you're not distracted by Black Eyed Peas songs playing over mzn during the commercials and random angry dudes suddenly pushing each other for no reason? What if you have to go on a long walk, alone after a team loss, because you just can't be around other humans at a time like this? What if you don't enjoy sexual relations with men?

What if you're in a relationship with a man who actively hates football and so you have to sneak watching highlights of your alma mater so he doesn't make fun of your continued debilitating fandom? Check between your legs.

The last time I watched football with a guy (youknowwho), he said I needed to how a woman should act when she goes with a date to a football-watching party. Jason, Ross, Pete, and John all had a lot to say about this matter, so I'm glad I asked! Here are their tips for appropriate behavior on Game Day. “Much like every amateur sport, the athletes use their primary insurance for treatment of injuries. said the LFL would not be liable if she was injured while training or playing in the league. It's a given that there will be enough men of a certain disposition to watch the LFL games. . Show 2 more replies. Sport includes all forms of competitive physical activity or games which, through Bruins dominate Blues in Game 3 of Stanley Cup Final | Quest for the Cup Ep. 8 | NBC . West Coast Eagles Football Club. 2, views; Streamed 11 hours ago. Watch live: Bill Beaumont County Championship Division One final.

You've probably had a penis this whole time. If you don't, check under the couch cushions for a man you may be subconsciously trying to impress. There's no way you actually like football.

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